508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
