Already got asked if we're dating
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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