watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
