At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
