I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize