This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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