I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
