Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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