I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
