Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
