Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
