"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
