Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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