no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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