Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize