There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i love accidental penises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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