Sponge bath it is.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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