the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
