Plan B is the new Plan A
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
