Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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