She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
