So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
