I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this will be a night to untag.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize