i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
