I wannas sexs uuuuu
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
