i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
