did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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