I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
