I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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