I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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