yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
