Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
