.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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