Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck appropriateness.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
