I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
