the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
