Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
