why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
