I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize