Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
