True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
