I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
