there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
