just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize