2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
