In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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