Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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