and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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