She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
