You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
