Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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