Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
