It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
