you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
