if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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