This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
