so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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