I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize