You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
