no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
