Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
