This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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