hotel room ftw
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
